Top 5 Unforgettable Jerry Clower Stories

Jerry Clower, a legendary American comedian and storyteller
Picture a world of down-home humor and Southern charm, where laughter reigns supreme and the stories unfold like a warm embrace. In the realm of American folklore, there exists a literary legend named Jerry Clower, whose tales have captivated audiences for generations. Get ready to embark on a nostalgic journey into the hilarious and heartwarming world of Jerry Clower, where yarns are spun with a twang and characters come to life with infectious wit.

Jerry Clower’s stories are a testament to the enduring power of humor and the human spirit. Born and raised in rural Mississippi, Clower drew inspiration from his own life experiences, weaving them into unforgettable tales that resonated with people from all walks of life. His characters were as diverse as they were relatable – from the cunning coon hunter to the hapless farmer whose misadventures always seemed to lead to a good laugh. Clower’s gift for storytelling lay in his ability to find the humor in everyday situations, turning the mundane into the extraordinary and leaving his audiences in stitches.

The appeal of Jerry Clower’s stories transcends time and place. His tales are not merely jokes or punchlines; they are intricate tapestries woven from the fabric of human experience. They remind us of the importance of laughter, the value of community, and the enduring power of the human spirit. Through his down-home wisdom and infectious humor, Clower invites us to embrace the absurdity of life, to find joy in the simple things, and to never take ourselves too seriously. So, let us delve into the world of Jerry Clower, where laughter is always within reach, and where the power of storytelling knows no bounds.

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The Goat That Ate Railroad Ties

Amidst the lush fields and rolling hills of the American countryside, there roamed an extraordinary goat with an insatiable appetite and a peculiar obsession. This goat, with its shaggy coat and mischievous glint in its eyes, had developed an unquenchable thirst for railroad ties. It would stealthily approach the tracks, its keen senses honing in on the scent of treated wood, and proceed to feast upon the sturdy timbers that held the rails in place.

As days turned into weeks, the goat’s unusual dietary preference became a source of amusement and bewilderment for the local townsfolk. Farmers would recount tales of their fences being mysteriously chewed down, while bewildered railroad workers discovered their tracks gradually deteriorating under the goat’s persistent munching.

One particularly harrowing incident occurred when the goat ventured onto a busy rail line and began gnawing on a tie directly beneath a passing train. As the locomotive thundered overhead, the goat remained unfazed, its jaws working away with relentless determination. Fortunately, no derailment occurred, but the sight of the goat defiantly chewing on the railroad tie as the train roared past left an indelible impression on the minds of all who witnessed it.

The Day Jerry Bought a Computer

In a time when computers were still a novelty, the legendary comedian Jerry Clower decided to take the plunge and purchase one. However, as he soon discovered, his encounter with technology was fraught with humorous misadventures.

Jerry’s First Computer

Jerry’s initial enthusiasm for his new computer quickly turned to confusion as he struggled to understand its inner workings. He spent countless hours gazing at the monitor, only to be met with a blank screen or cryptic error messages. Determined to overcome this technological obstacle, he diligently consulted the user manual, only to find himself more bewildered than before.

Jerry’s Computer Mishaps	Descriptions
The “Scrolling Mystery”	Jerry couldn’t figure out why his text kept disappearing and reappearing on the screen. He later realized he had inadvertently activated the “scrolling” feature.
The “Frozen Mouse”	After accidentally clicking the wrong button, Jerry’s mouse cursor froze, leaving him unable to move or interact with anything on the computer.
The “Accidental E-mail”	Jerry sent an unedited draft of a joke to his entire email list, much to his embarrassment.

The Night the Bed Fell

Jerry Clower’s classic tale “The Night the Bed Fell” recounts a hilarious evening when he and his wife, Thelma, retired to their bedroom. As they settled into their sleep, the bed frame suddenly collapsed, sending them both crashing to the floor.

The Bed’s Demise

According to Jerry, the bed had never given them trouble before. However, on this particular night, as they lay in bed, they could hear a peculiar creaking sound. At first, they ignored it, but soon the noise grew louder and more insistent. Suddenly, the bed’s middle leg snapped, causing the entire structure to collapse with a resounding thud.

Jerry’s Injuries	Thelma’s Injuries
Bruised elbow	Scraped knee
Swollen ankle	Twisted foot

The Aftermath

Jerry and Thelma lay on the floor, dazed and disoriented. Jerry could feel a sharp pain in his elbow, and Thelma was nursing a scraped knee. As they struggled to get to their feet, they couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Jerry remarked that he had always worried about the house falling down on them, but never the bed.

The Redneck’s Guide to Driving a Cadillac

Jerry Clower’s iconic “Redneck’s Guide to Driving a Cadillac” is a hilarious and relatable tale of how a backwoods boy finds himself behind the wheel of a luxury car. Clower humorously recounts the cultural clash that ensues as he navigates the unfamiliar terrain of a posh automobile.

Shifting Gears

Shifting gears in a Cadillac is more like an art form than a mechanical function. You don’t just push a lever; you dance with it. There are three gears: “Park,” “Drive,” and “Neutral.” Park is where you leave the car when you’re not driving it. Drive is where you put it when you’re, well, driving it. And Neutral is where you put it when you’re not driving it but still need to keep the engine running, like when you’re at the drive-thru or warming up the car on a cold morning.

Handling Curves

Taking curves in a Cadillac is a whole different ballgame than taking them in your old pickup truck. With a Cadillac, you gotta lean into the curve and let the car do the work. It’s like dancing with a partner. You gotta move with the car, not against it. If you fight the car, you’re gonna lose. Trust me on this one.

Mistake	Consequence
Accelerating too hard into a curve	Car will understeer and push wide
Braking too hard into a curve	Car will oversteer and spin out

Parallel Parking

Parallel parking a Cadillac is a skill that takes practice. It’s not as easy as it looks, especially if you’re used to driving a compact car. The key is to take your time and be patient. Don’t try to rush things, or you’ll end up banging up the car. Just take your time, line up the car with the space, and slowly back in. And don’t forget to use the mirrors!

The Day Jerry Met Elvis

Jerry Clower, the legendary Southern humorist, had a chance encounter with Elvis Presley at a gas station in Mississippi in the early 1970s. While filling up his car, Jerry noticed a long black Cadillac pull up beside him. As the window rolled down, Jerry’s eyes widened in disbelief as he recognized the unmistakable face of Elvis Presley.

In his inimitable style, Jerry blurted out, “Well, damn, it is Elvis!” Elvis smiled and replied, “Yes, sir, it is.” The two struck up a conversation that lasted for over an hour.

Elvis and Jerry’s Conversation

Jerry recounted that Elvis was down-to-earth and friendly, and they talked about everything from music and fishing to the Vietnam War. Elvis even shared some of his favorite jokes and sang a few songs for Jerry.

Topics of Conversation
Music
Fishing
Vietnam War
Jokes
Songs

An Unforgettable Experience

Jerry later recalled that his encounter with Elvis was one of the most memorable experiences of his life. He cherished the memory of that afternoon, and he often told the story to his audiences, bringing laughter and warmth to their hearts.

The Coon That Had a Big Head

Well, I was comin’ down through Tennessee a while back, and I come to this little place called Possum Trot. And I stopped at this little store for a cold drink. And I went in, and I saw this big old fellow sitting there on a stool behind the counter, and he had the biggest head I ever saw in my life. It was so big, it looked like it was about to fall off his shoulders.

And so I said, “Howdy, friend. I don’t reckon I ever seen a head as big as yourn before.” And he said, “Well, I don’t know. I never thought about it much.” And I said, “Well, I’ll tell you what. I bet you a dollar I can fit your head in that Coke machine over there.” And he said, “Well, I don’t know. I never tried it.” So I said, “Well, let’s give it a try.” So he got up, and I opened the door to the Coke machine, and he stuck his head in.

And I closed the door, and I put a quarter in the slot, and I pushed the button for a Coke. And the Coke came out, and it hit him in the back of the head, and it knocked him out cold. And I said, “Well, I reckon I win the dollar.” And the storekeeper said, “Well, I don’t know. I never seen anybody knock him out before.” And I said, “Well, I reckon that’s just the way it is.” And so I took the dollar and I left.

Summary of events:
The narrator meets a man with an unusually large head. The narrator makes a bet that he can fit the man’s head in a Coke machine. The narrator wins the bet when a Coke knocks the man unconscious.

The Time Jerry Went Coon Hunting with a Bulldog

One time, Jerry went coon hunting with a bulldog named Buster. Buster was a big, mean dog, but he was loyal to Jerry. They went out into the woods, and it wasn’t long before they treed a coon. Jerry climbed the tree and shook the limb where the coon was hiding. The coon fell to the ground, and Buster grabbed it in his mouth.

Buster’s Big Mistake

But Buster made a big mistake. He didn’t kill the coon right away. Instead, he started to play with it. He tossed it up in the air and caught it in his mouth. He rolled it around on the ground. He even tried to bury it.

The Coon’s Revenge

The coon was getting annoyed. It started to fight back. It scratched Buster’s face and bit his ears. Buster finally got tired of playing and decided to kill the coon. But it was too late. The coon had already done too much damage.

Injuries sustained by Buster
Scratches on the face
Bite marks on the ears
A broken tooth
A bruised ego

Jerry’s Solution

Jerry had to take Buster to the vet to get his injuries treated. The vet told Jerry that Buster was lucky to be alive. The coon could have easily killed him.

Lesson Learned

Jerry learned a valuable lesson that day. He learned that it’s important to kill a coon right away when you tree it. If you don’t, the coon could get away or, even worse, it could hurt your dog.

The Pig That Could Yodel

Once upon a time, there was a farmer named Jed who had a pig named Wilbur. Wilbur was no ordinary pig; he had a remarkable ability to yodel. One day, Jed decided to enter Wilbur in a local talent show. The judges were amazed by Wilbur’s yodeling skills, and he won first prize.

Wilbur’s yodeling quickly became famous, and he was soon invited to perform on a popular television show. Wilbur’s appearance on the show was a huge success, and he became a national celebrity.

Jed was proud of Wilbur, but he was also a little worried about him. He knew that Wilbur was a special pig, and he didn’t want anything to happen to him.

Wilbur’s Piglet

One day, Wilbur had a litter of piglets. One of the piglets was a little smaller than the others, and Jed was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to survive. But Wilbur took care of the little piglet, and he grew up to be healthy and strong.

The little piglet was also a talented yodeler, and he soon joined Wilbur in his performances.

The Yodeling Piglets

Wilbur and his piglet continued to perform together, and they became known as the Yodeling Piglets.

The Yodeling Piglets were a huge success, and they performed all over the country. They even made a few appearances on television.

Jed was proud of Wilbur and his piglets, but he was also a little worried about them. He knew that they were special pigs, and he didn’t want anything to happen to them.

The Pignappers

One day, Wilbur and his piglets were performing at a state fair when they were kidnapped by a group of criminals. The criminals planned to sell the pigs to a slaughterhouse.

Jed was devastated when he heard that Wilbur and his piglets had been kidnapped. He knew that he had to do everything he could to get them back.

Jed went to the police, and they started an investigation.

The Rescue

The police worked around the clock to find Wilbur and his piglets. Finally, they tracked down the criminals and arrested them.

Wilbur and his piglets were safe, and Jed was overjoyed.

The Yodeling Piglets Return

Wilbur and his piglets returned home to a hero’s welcome. They were greeted by a cheering crowd, and they were even given a parade in their honor.

The Yodeling Piglets continued to perform for many years, and they remained a beloved attraction all over the country.

Jed was proud of Wilbur and his piglets, and he was happy that they had brought so much joy to so many people.


Wilbur	The yodeling pig
Jed	Wilbur’s farmer
Pignappers	The criminals who kidnapped Wilbur and his piglets
Police	The law enforcement officers who rescued Wilbur and his piglets
Crowd	The people who cheered for Wilbur and his piglets when they returned home

The Day Jerry Was Elected Mayor

Jerry Clowers’s hilarious tale of his mayoral campaign is a classic of Southern storytelling. The plot has all the elements of a great political comedy: a bumbling candidate, a corrupt opponent, and a campaign that spirals into chaos.

Clowers’s journey begins when he agrees to run for mayor a small town. He’s not particularly qualified, to put it mildly, and his opponent is a well-connected businessman with a reputation for shady dealings.

As the campaign progresses, Clowers manages to make a series of gaffes. He mispronounces words, forgets his own policies, and even gets arrested for a minor crime.

Despite all this, Clowers’s popularity somehow grows. The people of the town see him as refreshing change from the usual political establishment.

On election day, Clowers pulls off a surprise upset. He’s elected mayor by a margin of just nine votes.

But his victory is bittersweet. Clowers knows that he’s not really qualified for the job.

Votes	Candidate
75	Jerry Clowers
66	Bill Thompson

He spends the next few months trying to learn the ropes of being a mayor. He makes even more mistakes, but he also manages to do some good for the town.

In the end, Clowers’s term as mayor is a mixed bag. He’s not the most competent mayor the town has ever had, but he’s certainly the most entertaining.

The Sermon on the Mount

Jerry Clower’s “The Sermon on the Mount” is a comedic yet poignant tale about a concerned citizen’s encounter with a visiting preacher. As the preacher delivers an impassioned sermon, Clower finds himself increasingly skeptical of the man’s message and motives.

Doubting Thomas

Clower’s doubts stem from the preacher’s claims of having a hotline to heaven, his promises of instant gratification, and his flamboyant appearance.

The Serpent’s Tongue

As the sermon progresses, Clower’s suspicions grow. He realizes that the preacher is using manipulative language, preying on the vulnerabilities of the congregation.

The Good Shepherd or the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing?

Clower’s skepticism culminates in a confrontation with the preacher, in which he challenges the man’s true nature. Clower questions whether the preacher is a genuine shepherd or merely a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The Power of Truth

In the end, the truth emerges as Clower exposes the preacher’s deception. The congregation, once swayed by the preacher’s charisma, now sees him in a new light.

The Hypocrisy of the Righteous

Clower’s tale also serves as a commentary on the hypocrisy within the church. He highlights the gap between the teachings of the faith and the actions of those who claim to follow them.

A Call for Authenticity

Ultimately, “The Sermon on the Mount” is a call for authenticity in faith and life. Clower urges listeners to be wary of those who preach one thing and live another.

The Importance of Critical Thinking

In the face of persuasive rhetoric, Clower’s story emphasizes the importance of critical thinking. He encourages people to question claims and to seek evidence before embracing beliefs.

The Danger of False Prophets

Clower’s tale warns against the dangers of false prophets who exploit the gullible for personal gain. He cautions listeners to be discerning and to avoid falling prey to their deceptive tactics.

The Power of Humor

Despite its serious themes, “The Sermon on the Mount” is also a testament to the power of humor. Clower’s comedic storytelling style makes the tale both entertaining and thought-provoking.

The Importance of Community

Clower’s story highlights the importance of community in combating deception. When people come together and share their concerns, they can expose the truth and hold those who wield power accountable.

Best Jerry Clower Stories

Jerry Clower was a legendary American comedian and humorist who was known for his hilarious stories about his life in rural Mississippi. His stories often featured his family, friends, and neighbors, and they were always told with a keen eye for detail and a deep love for his home state.

Some of Clower’s best stories include “To Tell the Truth,” in which he recounts a time when he was nearly arrested for telling a tall tale, and “The Pawn Shop,” in which he tries to sell a worthless shotgun to a pawnbroker. Clower’s stories are always funny, but they also offer a glimpse into the life of a simple, hardworking man who loved nothing more than making people laugh.