Establishing Boundaries
Communicate Effectively:
Establish clear rules and expectations regarding physical and emotional boundaries. Discuss how you want to communicate when boundaries are crossed, and how you’ll respect each other’s comfort levels.
Set Specific Limits:
Define what types of physical contact are acceptable and which are off-limits. Discuss preferred locations for encounters and set limits on frequency and duration.
Respect Emotional Boundaries:
Acknowledge that feelings may develop over time. Set expectations on how you’ll handle these emotions and ensure that neither party feels pressured to reciprocate.
Establish Time Boundaries:
Determine specific times or days when you’re available for encounters. This helps prevent misunderstandings and respects each other’s availability.
Create a Safe Word or Signal:
Agree on a verbal or non-verbal cue that signifies when boundaries are being crossed or if one person feels uncomfortable. This provides a discreet way to stop the encounter.
Consider a Contract:
While not legally binding, consider creating a written contract that outlines all the boundaries and expectations. This can serve as a physical reminder and help resolve any future disputes.
Revise and Adjust Regularly:
As the relationship evolves, boundaries may need to be revised or adjusted. Regularly check in with each other to ensure that the boundaries are still respected and that both parties are comfortable.
Consequences for Crossing Boundaries:
Establish clear consequences for crossing boundaries. This could include temporary or permanent suspension of the arrangement or seeking external support if necessary.
Maintaining Emotional Distance
Maintaining emotional distance is crucial for a successful friends-with-benefits arrangement. Here are some tips to help you keep things casual:
1. Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries from the beginning. Discuss what is and is not acceptable in your relationship. This includes physical boundaries (e.g., no cuddling) and emotional boundaries (e.g., no saying “I love you”).
2. Communicate Regularly
Open communication is essential. Regularly check in with each other to ensure you’re still on the same page. Discuss any changes or concerns that arise to avoid misunderstandings.
3. Respect Each Other’s Space and Time
Just because you’re friends with benefits doesn’t mean you have to spend all your time together. Respect each other’s individual lives and schedules. Give each other space when needed to maintain your own identity.
4. Avoid Jealousy
In a friends-with-benefits scenario, it’s natural to experience some jealousy if one person starts dating someone else. However, it’s important to remember that you’re not in an exclusive relationship. Handle jealousy maturely by communicating your feelings and setting boundaries.
5. Focus on the Physical Aspect
Remember that a friends-with-benefits arrangement is primarily about physical intimacy. Avoid getting caught up in romantic gestures or emotional attachments. Keep the focus on the physical aspect of your relationship to prevent it from blurring the lines.
