The Art of Avoidance
Players are masters of the art of avoidance. They will do whatever they can to avoid getting caught up in anything serious or long-term. This means they will avoid making plans, having deep conversations, or introducing you to their friends and family. They may also be reluctant to commit to anything, even something as simple as a date. If you find yourself constantly chasing after a guy who seems to be always unavailable, it’s a good sign that he’s a player.
Here are some specific examples of how players use avoidance tactics:
| AVOIDANCE | REASONING |
|---|---|
| Never making plans | He doesn’t want to give you the impression that he’s interested in anything serious. |
| Always being busy | He has other, more important things to do than spend time with you. |
| Never introducing you to his friends or family | He doesn’t want you to get too close to him or his inner circle. |
| Reluctant to commit to anything | He wants to keep his options open and avoid getting tied down. |
If you’re dealing with a player, it’s important to recognize the signs and move on. Don’t waste your time on someone who is not interested in a real relationship.
Catching the Wandering Eye
Observing a guy’s eye movements can provide valuable clues about his intentions. Here are some telltale signs of a wandering eye:
1. Frequent Glances at Other Women
A guy who is easily distracted by other attractive women may be a player. Notice if he frequently looks around, making extended eye contact with strangers or lingering gazes on women walking by.
2. Involuntary Eye Movements
Unconscious eye movements can reveal a guy’s true focus. If his eyes dart towards women nearby, even when he’s supposedly engaged in conversation, it suggests his attention is elsewhere.
3. Eye Contact Avoidance with You
A player may avoid direct eye contact with you as a sign of disinterest or discomfort. This could manifest in several ways:
| Behavior | Interpretation |
|---|---|
| Looking down | Hiding emotions or evading accountability. |
| Staring at something else | Lack of focus or desire to avoid intimacy. |
| Darting eyes | Nervousness or a subconscious desire to explore other options. |
| Blocked gaze | A physical manifestation of emotional distance or unwillingness to connect. |
Verbal Cues to Watch Out For
There are several verbal cues that can indicate a guy may be a player:
| Verbal Cue | What It Might Mean |
|---|---|
| He’s overly complimentary. | He may be trying to flatter you into trusting him. |
| He talks a lot about his past relationships. | He may be trying to prove his track record or make you feel jealous. |
| He uses a lot of vague or ambiguous language. | He may be trying to avoid commitment or responsibility. |
| He often changes his story or gives conflicting information. | He may be trying to hide something or manipulate you. |
| He makes promises he doesn’t keep. | This is a clear sign of unreliability and deception. |
Additionally, pay attention to the way he speaks about women in general. If he makes degrading or disrespectful comments, this could be a red flag.
Trust Your Instincts
One of the most important things you can do is to trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Pay attention to your gut feeling and don’t ignore any red flags.
Here are some specific things to look for:
Does he make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe?
Does he seem too good to be true?
Does he have a reputation for being a player?
Do you feel like you’re being pressured to do something you don’t want to do?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s probably best to steer clear. But if you’re still not sure, here are some tips to know for sure:
| Signs of a Player | Signs of a Genuine Guy | |
|---|---|---|
| Relationship Status | Keeps relationships casual, avoids commitment. | Looks for a long-term relationship, values commitment. |
| Communication | Unresponsive or inconsistent in communication. | Regular and open communication, prioritizes spending time together. |
| Trustworthiness | Evades accountability, makes excuses for negative behavior. | Takes responsibility for actions, transparent and honest. |
| Respect for Boundaries | Disrespects limits, pushes boundaries | Values boundaries, respects personal space and choices. |
| Emotional Availability | Avoids emotional intimacy, focuses on physical aspects. | Emotionally available, expresses feelings openly. |
| Consistency | Actions and words don’t align | Consistent in actions and verbal expressions. |
| Future Plans | Avoids discussing future, focuses on present. | Openly discusses future plans, shows commitment. |
| Exclusivity | Unclear about relationship status, sees multiple people. | Values exclusivity and commits to one partner. |
Prioritizing Self-Respect
Protecting your self-respect is paramount when navigating potential players. Consider the following strategies:
9. Setting Boundaries and Enforcing Them
Establish clear boundaries regarding acceptable behavior and consequences for crossing them. Communicate these boundaries assertively, and don’t hesitate to leave the situation if they’re violated. Here are some examples of boundaries you could set:
| Boundary | Consequence |
|---|---|
| Respecting your time and plans | Ending the conversation or leaving the date |
| Avoiding inappropriate or excessive physical contact | Asking them to respect your personal space |
| Communicating openly and honestly | Asking for clarification or ending communication if trust is broken |
Enforcing boundaries conveys self-respect and reduces the likelihood of being taken advantage of.
